A second baby is prompting a second round of “need to get it outs.” Which, like everything else with this pregnancy, is happening later than it did the first time around. I think my laid back(ish) attitude about baby 2 is quite a juxtaposition for my controlling, detail-oriented, have a plan personality.
What are you going to name the baby? Eh. I don’t know. We’ll figure it out eventually. Doesn’t feel as urgent this time around. I was desperate for Henry’s name to be settled ASAP after the 20 week ultrasound. This time… it’s not that I CARE less, because I care deeply about this little boy, it’s that I know we will figure it out when the time is right. And right now, the time is not right. We have a million other things to sort out that we’ve been pushing off.
Like… a crib. And rewashing clothes. And cleaning up the old car seat. And moving the office. And taking out our weird window that goes from the office to the dining room.
I am less worried this time around. I haven’t felt a need to read everything I can possibly get my hands on about the best way to bring baby 2 home, or how to introduce the boys to one another, or what to expect when with a newborn and toddler. Very unlike me. My attitude this time around is – eh, we’ll figure it out. We know Henry’s personality. We’ll get to know baby 2’s personality, and then we’ll work it out.
WHO IS THIS PERSON?!
I like her. I think.
Not to say I’m not thinking about things and over analyzing, cause that is definitely happening. My biggest concerns revolve around two main things: 1) Newborns are awful creatures 2) How will this impact Henry?
Newborns are awful creatures. That is not a point that is up for discussion. It is a cold hard fact. I re-read some of my early newborn blog posts from Henry. I should have re-read them roughly 8 months ago because… no. NO. I do not want to return to a life where sleep is so precious I would kill for it. Where I am so tired that I cannot function. And now I have to figure out a way to function with a toddler running around demanding attention and being upset that mama is not at his beck and call any longer. I do not want to be covered in vomit. I do not want to have poop on my hands. I do not want to have a crying little creature that does not know how to communicate his needs. I do not want to have nights where there are three hours straight of crying. What will Henry think or do? What will we do with Henry?
And as you can see, I am very concerned about how it impacts Henry. Henry is (mostly) a delight and I am worried bringing in a baby is going to make him a non-delight. He is baby obsessed, but I am not sure that will remain true when a baby lives with us full time taking away time with his parents. We are able to spend so much time with Henry right now. It’s the Henry show. And it is amazing. We love it. He’s hilarious. And soon it won’t be. Am I ready for that? I love Henry more than I could have ever imagined – is there seriously room for TWO? It seems impossible and, yet, I’m told it will happen.
I am terribly excited to see the boys grow together. And become friends. And commit amazing shenanigans. I cannot wait to see how Henry takes to being a big brother. He loves to be helpful and we talk frequently about what kinds of things a big brother gets to help with. I mean, he’s two, so I cannot quite say what his level of understanding is, but I do believe that the more we can involve him in helping with the baby the better off we are all going to be.
I suppose, like all second-time parents, I will relish in these last weeks of solo time. Soak up every minute. And then when baby comes we will simply… adjust. We just will. Because everyone does it. And we are no exception to any rule.
Tonight’s feels during the bedtime routine:
Mommy: Let’s be done with books and snuggle. Things are going to change a lot very soon.
Henry: *stares at me with his big blue eyes, listening*
M: You’re going to be a big brother soon!
H: *smiles big, rubs my tummy* little brother in momma’s tummy. Baby in tummy.
M: That’s right, buddy. What do big brothers do? Help with diapers?
H: *still rubbing* diapers!
M: And when the baby cries, we will make the baby feel better.
H: *still rubbing* It’s okay baby.
Sob sob sob.